this is how i should live my life? this is how i should be resisting all the sadness?
dear Allah, i cant help myself to be happy. yes, i need some friends, so that im not thinking of sth bad, or sth relates to hatred. btw, tell me if u can give me ur crying shoulder. but plz, females only. hehe
last night, i slept at 3 am. and, i cant help myself to even close my eyes for 2minutes. dear Allah, please. dont drive me crazy.T____T now, i know how nikmat to sleep soundly. (bcoz i tend to be angry to myself if i sleep too much.) yes, its not good, but at least, u can sleep, right? u get what i mean. :)
and this morning, i wake up at 6am. so, i slept for only 3hours something. now, i resist myself to go for laundry. i know its good, sarah. but, dont u know that urself dont get enough sleep? dahlah main naik turun tangga 2x. dah la tingkat empat. haishhh ya Allah, please dont drive me this weird. i know my brain cant work sometimes. and this morning, i' ve packed all the so called "love stuff" into my big luggage. so that i cant see them anymore. ya Allah, this is hard. but i know i can do it. i feel like crying 24 hours. i feel like dumping myself into the ground, so that my eyes are filled with soil, and i cant cry. (is it?? durhhh!! scary gile kau! sakit!) -____-' but yeah, i cant sleep. i have no appetite to eat. but thank God that we're able to go for Steadfast dinner last night, and im able to eat as much as i can. lol.
mama, i miss you. abah, i miss you. i know that u guys can feel that my life here is so miserable. T____T
but pls pray for me that im okay and can give u flying colour results. :')
and starts from now, i cant hear to any love songs, to any sad music. eventough i didnt hear them , i'd cry too. lol, manja bangat kamu! wek! ;p
okay okay. i think i need to stop. well, if u guys have ways to stop me from becoming this sad, do send me message thru fb or leave some comments here. i love u if u can be the one. xoxo
p.s: i need some motivation. at least, some words. :)
see? the wide smile with a sad face? mata pon bengkak. haishhhhh. T___T btw meer, thanks for making that pic as ur profile pic on fb. love u baby! xoxo and the caption is " be strong, Sarah!" meer, dont u know that i almost cry? terharu, terharu. :') *hugsss* |
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